Those who have come to identify themselves as being “gay” come to this conclusion on the basis of the experience of their sexual “orientation.” They find themselves drawn to the members of their own sex as the preferred object of their sexual appetites. Moreover, some report that these “orientations” are “hardwired” in the brain. They are not a conscious choice; they are a given. Nor can they be changed, they claim. “God made me this way,” they say. Therefore, they conclude: “This is the way I am. What can be wrong with it?” Faced with the sincerity of those who make these claims, what are we to think and what can we say?

Our response has to begin with understanding the distinction that underlies these claims. Sex and gender are being distinguished. According to this way of thinking, sex is linked to the body since, obviously, there are only two sexes: male and female. Gender, on the other hand, is linked to the sexual appetites, or more specifically, to the object of satisfaction toward which a person is inclined. Thus, while there are only two sexes, there are at least four genders: heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and transsexual, each an equally valid option. Instead of sexual identity being derived from the body, it comes from the “orientation” of one’s appetites. Therefore, the behavior which corresponds to these “orientations” is natural and should be accepted by society as such.

Notice, by way of critique, that in this schema, there is no place or need for the virtues in rectifying the appetites. The truth is that our appetites and inclinations need to be corrected by being directed toward that which enables us to put the order of persons first and the seeking of what is the true good of others above the satisfaction of personal enjoyment and the gratification of our senses. Our sensible appetites come to be virtuous by being subordinated to the order of persons. Virtues, then, are the habits that enable our faculties to function well. Only the acknowledgement of the need for virtues to orientate properly the appetites allows the virtues to appear. The end product of rectifying the appetites in accord with right reason is the presence of virtue.

Since virtues are good habits, they grow and develop, like all other habits, by repeated acts that are virtuous. Like little children, the appetites and inclinations that are part of our faculties need to be educated. This education takes place when we choose to act against those inclinations which, for whatever reason, are not properly focused. This need of education is especially true of the case of the sensible appetites.

The sensible appetites are those that direct us toward the experience of pleasure. While pleasure in itself is a good, it is only a rational good to the extent that it is not an end in itself, but rather a consequence of seeking of the true good of others. When seeking personal gratification is primary in a person’s life, the order of persons is subordinated to the seeking of pleasure. Without virtue, we end up using other people for our own pleasure-seeking ends. Only as we are capable of subordinating our desire for pleasure to the good of others are we capable of sustained relations with other people. Since most people do not enjoy being used, it should not come as a surprise when they drop us like a hot potato. Hence, if you want to have friends, cultivate the virtues. A good character, which is the stable integration of the virtues into one’s total personality, is the key to a successful and happy life.

The virtue that regulates all the sensible appetites is temperance. The daughter of the virtue of temperance that regulates the sexual appetite in particular is chastity. This virtue depends for its development on the recognition of the biological purpose of sexuality. Those who claim to be “gay” miss this important point. The primary point of having sex is not to have fun; it is to have kids. This finality is what gives human sexuality its dignity and the consequent need to protect it from abuse. What protects sexuality from abuse is the life-long commitment that the sexual act bespeaks. This commitment to one another made by a biological couple is what enables marital sex to be virtuous and not the mutual use of one another. Marriage is therefore the institutionalization of virtue. The same cannot be said of same-sex unions.

Virtues do not exist by themselves. They are like grapes. They grow in clusters. When one is missing, the others lack an essential ingredient. The virtue of justice needs prudence in order to be just. Temperance needs prudence and fortitude in order to be temperate. Charity needs prudence, temperance, and its daughter chastity in order to be charitable. The corruption of one habit leads progressively to the disintegration of one’s whole personality. If the de facto “orientation” of the sexual appetite is accepted without any acknowledgement of the fact that the sensible appetites have to be rectified, a serious consequence follows: the appetites are never integrated into that aspect of personality what we call character. You end up with a bad character, the stable association of the vices. When the virtue of chastity does not appear, its place is taken by the opposing vice of lust. A person, dominated by lust, lives an intrinsically disorder life.

Why are the virtues important? They make possible a good character by integrating your personality in a way that enables you with ease to put the welfare of persons above your own momentary personal satisfaction. At this point, “orientation” ceases to be an issue because you are no longer absorbed in yourself.